What if WHY is the wrong question

So many times we ask ourselves why we do (or continue to do) self-destructive activities such as smoking, over eating, procrastinating on a big project.   We ask “why “of others.  Why are you late?  Why won’t you just do it?   Our whole self-development industry is based on figuring out the proverbial why in our life.  But…..what if why is the wrong question?

Have you ever noticed that when you ask this question you are rarely rewarded with a useful response?   That’s because why is the type of question that tends to stimulate defensiveness or excuse making in our minds and the minds of others.

Ever notice how when you ask why your body drops?   How your eyes tend to hit the floor?  How the only thoughts you stimulate are excuses or the “I don’t know” response.   Take a second and test it.  Ask yourself that limiting “Why” question and notice your physical and mental responses.

In spite of our teachings to the contrary (ask the 5 w’s and a how), we rarely use the “why” question in the right order.   Why can be incredibly useful in terms of marketing or branding, but often limits us when referencing behaviors.

If this question is contributing to your feeling stuck, consider asking a “what” or “how” question.  What can I do? How can I work through this?  What will it take to make this habit a thing of the past?   Once your brain has a chance to generate some plausible solutions then go ahead and ask your why question.  Why don’t I do that right now?

The universe rewards decisive action not perfection. Your brain is a powerful computer. It just wants you to tell it what you are searching for.   It is time to stop activating defensiveness and excuses in your life and from others.  It is time to stimulate creative thinking.  You were born ready to be truly successful in your own right. Maybe it’s just time to get out of your own way.  Why wouldn’t you want to do that?